The Abnormality of Normalcy

Today, I was invited to an Owambe—a social gathering typically characterized by lively celebrations. I rarely feel inclined to attend such events unless they are significant family occasions or engagements I consider important. In earlier years, I naively believed I was doing the host a favor by not attending, assuming one fewer mouth to feed would be appreciated. (Does that make me a “bush boy”?)

This time, however, it was the wedding of Bukky’s nephew in Surulere, Lagos, Nigeria. Bukky has been a longtime friend, and the combination of our friendship and the proximity of the venue made it difficult to decline. I attended with Bisi and Funmi (née Popoola).

I arrived at the Global Impact Church before 11 a.m., the scheduled start time for the ceremony. These days, I make it a point not to be late for church events or other engagements where punctuality is expected. However, upon arrival, there was no sign that the ceremony was about to commence. The atmosphere was unhurried, the events unfolding sluggishly and without a sense of urgency—a scene all too common in Nigerian gatherings.

The groom’s father arrived shortly before the program began. I immediately recognized him—a former academic at OSU, Ago Iwoye. Despite his age, he looked remarkably youthful, with barely a wrinkle to show for his years. Perhaps his new life as a reverend gentleman, coupled with long periods of fasting, had preserved his appearance. In contrast, I am “richer”—not financially, but in the abundance of gray hairs I proudly carry. Though I intended to greet him, the crowd surrounding him made it impossible, and I abandoned the idea.

The ceremony eventually began at half past eleven, accompanied by a feeble apology for the delay. I wouldn’t be surprised if the next wedding at the church also starts late; there seems to be little understanding of the importance of punctuality. In Nigeria, tardiness is often normalized, and punctuality is mistakenly seen as unusual or unnecessary.

There is a pervasive nonchalance in Nigeria when it comes to valuing time. Many fail to recognize its inestimable worth, and this ignorance is reflected in how time is often squandered. A man’s focus and discipline can often be gauged by how he handles his time. Wasting long periods on unproductive activities equates to wasting life itself. Time is a seed, and failing to sow during the planting season guarantees a barren harvest.

Discipline is indispensable for anyone aspiring to success or greatness. Yet, many treat time as though it were an unlimited resource, disregarding its consequences. This lax attitude is often passed on to children, perpetuating a cycle of mediocrity. Our lives are brief, and when we misuse time, we undermine our potential and settle for less than we are capable of achieving.

Despite these reflections, the day was not without its joys. I was delighted to reconnect with Bunmi, Bukky’s youngest sibling. Years ago, she was just a little girl. She jokingly reminded me that back then, I didn’t have gray hairs. Despite my attempts to shave them off, those stubborn strands persist! When I saw her, something about her seemed familiar. As our eyes met, she called my name, and it was as if the years melted away.

Seeing Shade and Bunmi again was a highlight of the event—more meaningful than all the “yum yum” offered. Their eagerness to ensure we were well cared for warmed my heart.

Moments like these remind us of the beauty of human connection. Such times can make it tempting to linger, but I had to leave. Bunmi, however, wanted me to stay a little longer.

Time, though, waits for no one. Even God treats time with utmost precision. He scheduled the moment of our birth, and we arrived exactly on time. Likewise, our departure has already been determined, and it will occur without delay. Every minute matters.

Uwem Sampson.