Little Things Do Matter

About thirty years ago, Yemisi wrote me a letter. In it, she shared that even during the busiest moments of her day, thoughts of me still found their way into her mind. I don’t know how many times I reread that letter, but it left a lasting impression.

Today, Yemisi is likely married with children and may not even remember me. Yet, her words remain vivid in my memory. Words are not mere expressions; they reveal our deepest emotions and gratitude. They enable us to connect meaningfully with others. Conversely, silence, when words are needed, can have unintended and far-reaching consequences, often leaving a bitter impression. Kind words have the power to shape people positively, while harsh or careless ones can foster toxicity.

Earlier this year, Otunba Aji expressed disappointment that his birthday wasn’t acknowledged on our platform. Some might dismiss it as trivial, but such gestures, however small, carry significant weight. Growing up, birthdays were often treated as just another day. However, as we interact with diverse communities, we come to recognize the importance others place on these milestones and adapt accordingly.

I still remember giving Jide Ogunbanjo a birthday card on September 25, 1992. It was a repurposed card that Bimbo Ogunbamise had given me, yet it held meaning. That date has remained etched in my memory. Over the years, I’ve remembered the birthdays of many people I’ve interacted with, especially those I’ve grown close to. It’s not unusual to ask a mutual acquaintance, like Tosin Idowu, for Femi Daro’s birthday.

Interestingly, I recall Tosin’s birthday being in March, as Tokunbo told me long ago. Yet, I sometimes mix up whose birthday comes first—hers or another friend’s. For some, these dates seem to come as a package deal. For instance, I believe their birthdays are on the 4th and 5th. Similarly, Tony Monye’s birthday is May 27, and Kemi Adebayo’s is January 4. These details may seem insignificant, but they hold a special charm. It’s heartwarming when someone remembers to call or text with birthday wishes—it reflects genuine thoughtfulness.

Today, Maryanne called from Benin to wish me a happy birthday. I couldn’t help but point out that her reminder likely came from Facebook. While I appreciated the gesture, I wondered how much more meaningful it would have been if it hadn’t been prompted by a social media notification—an impersonal, mechanical reminder.

Indeed, little things do matter, and they’re often not so little after all.

Uwem Sampson